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Broken...:-\ [Jun. 21st, 2010|01:13 pm]
[mood |crushedcrushed]
[music |"Can]

So, recently I was talking to this guy. From January to March I guess.  I am not positive of the time span.  Well, I contacted him first then he responded.  We spoke on the phone and through text without hanging out with each other first.  He works at Target, by the way.  We went on a date on one of my breaks which was fun.  Then I went back to school.  

Background: Initially, he responded to me right away or he would text me all the time.  So, I figured he was really interested in me.  Therefore, I figured it was okay to completely let go and embrace the experience because I trusted him. AND he said things to me that would make me believe the way he felt. 

Anyway, after we went on our first date a week went by without hearing anything from him.  So, I contacted him and he was responsive.  But, after that first contact after our date he didn't seem to want to talk to me anymore.  So, I was like okay.  I will ask him straight out if he still wants to talk to me.  He said it was best if we are friends.  So, I naturally became extremely upset.  Then, I did a little research.  On MySpace I saw that his top people now was this girl named Taylor (his ex's name).  I couldn't see her profile on Myspace so I searched her on Facebook.  Well, to my belief I saw all of her status' were about loving NWB or Nathaniel William Blake.  How he is the love of her life and how glad she was that she was with him and so on.  Well!

The first action I took was to straight up ask Nate about it.  He avoided the question by asking why I wanted to know.  That answered my question, pretty much.  So, we stopped talking completely and I deleted him on Facebook. He was upset by that action.

Well, since we work together I started seeing him at Target.  I realized how much I missed him so, I sent him a message.  He felt the same way a little bit too.  Before we decided to see each other I made sure that this Taylor girl was not in his life or his girlfriend.  He said absolutley not.  I asked him about the status' and he said she is trying to get my attention.  So, we ended up hanging out one night and well one thing let to another.  I kind of regret having sex with him.  Because he started ignoring me again.  Not right away but eventually so, i think that his ex is back in the picture.  

It sucks that we work together because whenever I see him I am sad. Target is supposed to be my get away from life situations that I deal with.  When we are really busy, I forget about him.  But, all in all this is why I did not have interest in people I work with.  I just thought we can make something of it.  I guess not.

Second time this has happened to me.  I feel safe with my feelings and then they just get blown away.  I am going to say it will be a while for another guy, but I know I don't mean it.  I will give another guy a chance and get hurt again.    
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Goals for Mary Kay [Jun. 15th, 2010|03:52 pm]
[Current Location |United States, New York, Middletown]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |Can't be Tamed by Miley Cyrus]

I need to sell 25 items within a week to jump start my business.  I need to start my 100 faces project.  I need the "faces" by the end of summer. Ahoy! I need 14 recruits within 4 months to earn a car! I think Cara is coming over for a facial. Oh! yay!  
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Mary Kay [Jun. 14th, 2010|05:54 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

Today, I am going to my second Mary Kay event as an independent consultant.   People will buy from me.  (Stay positive, right?)  There are a lot of ideas processing in my head.  Mary Kay, Target, Kmart, cleaning, money, friends, boys (blah), family, and school! Just to name a few.  Everything will go well. (Stay positive, right?)

Hopefully, I will be back at a decent hour.  Maybe Cara will come!

Good Night.
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Love... [Jul. 30th, 2008|01:27 am]
[Current Location |room]
[mood |rejectedrejected]
[music |Do you know where your heart is]

ALL I SEE IS YOU

Author: Kelly Lobdell

I remember us,
the way we used to be,
I'd hold you in my arms,
your smile so sweet to me,

But now when I see you,
you look right through me,
I feel so alone now,
but when I close my eyes...

...All I see is you.

The love we used to share,
gone up in whirl winds,
will I ever love,
or ever live again,

I am tired of crying,
and I am done trying,
To remember all about you,
but when I close my eyes...

...All I see is you.

All the love I am sending,
the memories I won't sell,
I know there must be an ending,
to the story I will tell,

I dream only of your love,
and happiness in life,
I try not to think of you,
but when I close my eyes...

..All I see is you.
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something [Sep. 1st, 2005|09:30 pm]
[mood |contentcontent]

I miss Christine...The End
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